Peyote Dreams

by

Art Bone 

 

"Poor Mexico; so far from God, so close to the United States." Porfirio Diaz

 

Your faithful correspondent is bearing down at break-neck speed on one of those birthdays to which we all give special significance; the ones that end in zero. 

 

 My approaching dotage was made manifest last month when I received an email from Mike Banks of Isle of Man Motorcycle Adventures. I’ve been renting bikes from Mike for several years now with no problems and several people to whom I’ve recommended his service have also rented bikes from him. I consider myself a good customer of his. In the email he stated that he had changed insurance companies and now couldn’t rent to anyone over the age of seventy-five. 

 

Well, that came as a surprise. We’ve already bought our airline tickets and reserved our accommodations for the Classic TT and Manx GP. Of course, we could rent a car but the Isle of Man without a bike would be like following a State Patrol car through The Tail of the Dragon. 

 

But, of course there has to be an alternative; there always is. It just takes some extra work, some ingenuity, and, of course, some more money. 

 

I proposed to Mike that I would look into getting my own insurance if he would rent me a bike and he agreed to that. Then I got online and started looking for companies that would sell me a short-term policy. The first place I looked was ADVrider.com and almost immediately I found an address for a company called Bikesure which promised to provide exactly what I was looking for. I called them and spoke to a charming young person named Abbie who sent me a form to fill out, in excruciating detail, concerning my location, net worth, present health, prospects for my future health, and a full description of the motorcycle I was trying to insure. A few days after submitting this information I received another email from Abbie informing me that it would be helpful to know if I had any previous riding experience, what types of bikes I had been riding, when I had those bikes and for how long?

 

Of course, insurance companies have no desire to sell insurance to anyone who might, conceivably, by any stretch of the imagination, need insurance. They are not in the business of taking in premiums, retaining a portion of those premiums for profit, and paying out claims with the rest, as you might think; No, they are in the business of taking in premiums, investing those premiums in real estate, and NOT paying out claims. With that in mind and seeking to reassure whomever might be underwriting my adventure I sent back the following resume:

 

Sirs:

 

I’ve been a motorcycle rider for 65 years starting when I was 15 years old. I worked in and owned motorcycle shops for 10 years from 1970 until 1980, I raced motorcycles semiprofessionally from 1980 until 1985, finishing second in the 600 Production class in 1983. 

 

I currently own 10 motorcycles, including two 1974 Norton 850 Commandos, a 1975 Triumph T160, and a 2016 Triumph Scrambler but my main ride these days is a 2017 1000 CC CRF 1000 Honda Africa Twin.

 

I started the Atlanta Georgia, USA chapter of the International Norton Owners Association in 1980 and was the president of that chapter until 1997 when I became president of the International. I was president for five years. I started MotoClasico de San Miguel de Allende, Mexico in 2008 and I’m president of that club at present. 

 

I’ve rented motorcycles from many tour companies all over the world including Edelweiss, MotoDiscovery, Adriaticmototours, and Iberian Moto Tours, and I’m sure I can get references from them if required.

 

I’ve attended the MSF Rider Safety classes sponsored by the state of Georgia three times, the California SuperBike School twice, the BMW Off Road Rider Training course once, and the Kevin Schwantz Racing School once.

 

 I’ve ridden in 25 foreign countries and ride about 12,000 miles every year and I’ve never had an insurance claim or a moving traffic violation on a motorcycle.

 

 A couple of days later I got another email from Abbie stating they would insure me for two hundred and fifty euros. I was disappointed no one commented on my sterling resume. 

 

 

Sometimes things just work out. I rode up to Austin TX for the MotoGP then CJ and I did a little tour of the Texas hill country and Big Bend park. We had a great trip, perfect weather all the way, and nice accommodations. We even saw a young mountain lion in Big Bend park, just a few miles after I had seen a sign warning we were in “Mountain lion and bear country” and thinking “BS. There’s no bears or mountain lions around here.”

 

The first day we rode from Austin to Leakey, spent the night, and the next morning rode the “Three Twisted Sisters,” a wonderful one hundred mile loop of Farm to Market roads with beautiful scenery and almost no traffic on a Tuesday morning.

 

We turned off US 90 to visit the Judge Roy Bean Museum in Langtry, less than a mile from the Rio Grande. The cabin he lived in and the bar that served as his courthouse when he dished out “All the Law West of the Pecos” are preserved there. Standing on his porch and imagining life back in those days really made me appreciate the wonderful Gage Hotel in Marathon, our next stop. A dip in the pool, the air conditioning, and the White Buffalo Bar put all thoughts of sun and sage brush out of our minds.

 

The Hotel Paisano in Marfa was much appreciated after our trip from Terlingua. When the movie Giant was filmed outside Marfa the cast and crew stayed there. They have some great photos of Elizabeth Taylor, Rock Hudson, and James Dean displayed all around. 

 

We got up early the next morning and super-slabbed it back to Austin and our B & B..

 

CJ was waiting for her Uber car to take her to the airport as I pulled away from the curb next morning, excited about the eight hundred miles between me and home. Two days of just riding, stopping for gas, and riding some more, but the first order of business was breakfast. 

 

From Interstate 35, San Marcos TX is about ten miles of chain hotels, gas stations, convenience stores, and restaurants. Just what this hungry traveler was looking for. I parked in front of the IHOP and noticed several bikes across the lot but gave it no attention. After ordering my coffee and Ultimate American Breakfast ©, two eggs, two pieces of bacon, two of sausage, two of ham, plus two fluffy pancakes (Say what you will about American cuisine but our breakfasts are hard to beat.) I started looking at my phone, as you do when you’re eating alone. Then I heard a voice in a distinctly British accent saying, “Art, what are you doing here.”

 

Richard Asprey, president of the North Texas Norton Owners was approaching my table in full riding gear. After greetings I explained I was on my way home and he explained that the NTNO group had rented Harris Hill Raceway for a track day and why didn’t I come over and spend the day around two of my favorite things, old bikes and old bikers. 

 

The one thing I can’t resist is temptation. I immediately put my travel plans on “Hold” and did as Richard suggested. I Pricelined a room at the La Quinta two blocks away and went up to drop off my bags. The desk clerk said they only had two double beds, not the King I ordered but fine . . . whatever. Then I called my friend Charlie Brookman to brag about what I was doing. I assumed Charlie was in Mexico. 

 

I assumed wrong. He was at his sister’s house about twentyfive miles away. He said, “I’ll be right there.”

 

So we spent a pleasant day watching old bikers play with their steeds, had a great barbecue afterwards, and I had a room with two beds to share.

 

Sometimes things just work out.

 

Why DO we ride motorcycles?

 

I’ve been watching the rollout of electric motorcycles with interest. They’re being developed faster than I ever thought they would. The first year they ran a one lap race at the Isle of Man, they lapped at about 90 MPH. Five years later they were lapping at over 120. That’s a huge leap in a very short time. Every major motorcycle manufacturer is working on at least one electric bike, so the price is going to come down and the performance is going to go up and we’ll all have a chance to try one soon.

 

Every time there’s a new development and someone posts it on social media, that’s immediately followed by a chorus of nay-sayers - “Nope, not for me,” “Characterless, no sound,” “Might as well ride a vacuum cleaner.” “If it comes to that I’ll just give up riding.”

 

Well, adios Jose, because it’s coming to that. We’ll miss you. 

 

Of course, this is just as it always is with anything new. Remember the first Boyer electronic ignitions? What would happen if it failed? I can go to a parts store and buy a set of points for a 55 Chevy and make my dual points work again. How many Nortons or Triumphs do you see now with points?

 

Remember how unleaded gas was going to be the end of our old bike hobby and, ultimately, the end of high performance engines of any type? And fuel injection would never work. Four cylinder motorcycles were just a fad. And ABS would take all the skill out of braking. Automatic transmissions don’t even bear thinking about.

 

Every new innovation to make motorcycles quieter, safer, and more reliable seem to be met with this “characterless” argument. 

 

So why do we ride motorcycles? To me, when you strip away all the other things I like about motorcycles, the main thing is being in control of moving my body through space at high speed. I enjoy that sensation more than almost anything else and the mechanical aspects of how it happens don’t make all that much difference. 

 

A motorcycle that goes from 0 to 60 in 1 1/2 seconds has about as much “character” as I can stand and I wouldn’t care if it was powered by coal and sounded like a coffee grinder.

 

Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles, Bubba…. - Hunter S. Thompson 

W